Korean Soap Opera Inspired High School Story

As the title suggests I wrote this after watching a Korean Soap Opera ... so if it sound a little melodramatic or over the top blame the soap opera. I just wanted to see if I could write inside the mind of one of those really messed up character you would find in any Soap Opera. I think the main character might just be a politician's daughter.

I turned the knob of the shower very slowly and took in the last couple of drops that hit me. My breathe was slow and I opened the door to the shower and shivered as the cold wisps of air started to hit me. I quickly got a towel and started to dry my body. The only part of me that wasn't wet was my hair which was tied into a tight bun. It took me years to learn not how to get my hair wet and I finally perfected my technique.

I wrapped the damp towel around me and stared into the steamed up mirror. The face staring back at me was not the face everyone saw. My eyes were full of sadness and my mouth in a straight line. I hated doing this but I had to. My father and mother couldn't accept a sad me. Oh no they needed their daughter to be perfect. I looked away from the mirror since part of me was ready to smash it with my bare fist.

I walked to the bathroom door and made my way to my room. No one was at my house it was just me. My room was more sickening to look at than my face was. Everything so perfect.

Anytime anyone came in I knew what thoughts raced through their head because they said it out loud. "Wow Alice your room is so nice and neat. I wish my room could be that way." The bright colored bed spread, my desk, chair, and even my dresser reeked with the perfect girl I pretended to be.

On my bed where the clothes I picked out to wear. The name brands which made them overly priced where obvious on them. I dropped my towel and quickly dressed myself. After that I walked towards my dresser and looked at myself in that mirror. I took deep breathes. Glancing at my almost straight A report card just made everything twice as worse. I could already hear my mom and dad in my head. "Alice how could you get a B - in Math. Next time do better." They were never satisfied ... never. That was the part that hurt me the most.

I looked back into the mirror and picked up the various makeup I usually applied. I knew I didn't need it. I was one of those lucky girls that won the genetic lottery. My outside appearance was beautiful. In a way my makeup flawed in. The flaw in it was what I liked. Although no one else noticed except him. I won't forget how he just glanced at me that one time and told me I shouldn't wear it. He wasn't the usual him I knew either. Maybe because we were alone. Despite that I still liked him.

After I was done with my makeup I let my black hair down and watched it fall into perfect place. The person in the mirror was the one I liked. The one I craved to be but sadly she wasn't me. I was going to put on the mask of her though. Become her. I stopped as a pang went through my body.

I grabbed onto the side of my dresser and fought wildly with myself to fight the oncoming set of tears. I don't know why they choose to come now. I couldn't cry now though ... I had to go and meet my friends at the mall. I grabbed tighter onto the dresser but the tears wouldn't give up. Something deep inside me was coming. It was the monster that was born from my deep hating of myself. The me that knew I was a failure, worthless, idiot, and worst of all a fake.

I let go of my dresser and fell back leaning my back against my bed and started to cry. I didn't make a sound, because that would give the true me satisfaction. The hot tears ran down my face and I knew they were going to ruin my makeup. Each tear that fell made my makeup look worse. The hating of myself was also growing with the coming tears. I fell onto my knees and reached towards the dresser drawer that contained my cellphone.

Opening up the drawer I reached in and removed my cell phone. The true me was screaming out wanting to show the world herself. My mask was fighting against it. My internal struggles were shown through my external struggle. I kept the fight with my tears up but they were getting stronger and stronger. I never felt pangs this strong but the pangs in general weren't out of the ordinary.

I had this mask on ever since I was in sixth grade and I could keep it on well. It disturbed me after 5 years of keeping this mask on it was falling apart now. I finally let out a sob and gave into the temptation of taking off the mask. Something deep inside me told me it was the right thing to do. I had the urgent need to tell someone ... to reveal the true side of me.

Going through the names in my cell phone list I landed on the girl who saw the most real me. My best friend. I stared at the letters that made her name. J-U-L-I-A I spelled her name over and over in my head. It had a comforting feeling. I pressed the call button on my cellphone and put it to my ear while still crying.

The phone rang once but no answer. Please answer Julia. Twice. "Hello," Julia said.

"Julia I need to talk to someone." I said while fighting back the sobs. Despite my attempt it was obvious i was crying.

"Are you okay?"

"I need to talk in person." My voice was a little stronger this time. "Can you meet me somewhere?"

"Yeah sure where at?" She sounded worried and in all honest truth that seemed to soothe me a little. She cared even though I was crying ... maybe she would like the real me.

"How about the playground at the elementary school?"

"Ok I will see you there and Alice?"

"Yeah."

"Don't do anything stupid."

We said goodbye and I got up still crying.

It was a weird feeling. All my emotions were turning and twisting. I ran over to the bathroom sink and washed off all my makeup and made my way down to the first story of my house. Opening up the door I started running towards the school. It was nearby my house so I would be there in about 5 minutes. My tears were stopping little by little and I felt my mask go on.

When I got to the school though I saw Julia waiting at the corner looking worried. The look she gave me. The concern and the care of that look tore off my mask and I started crying again. This time it would be different though. It wasn't a bad cry, I didn't have to fight it. I had a shoulder to cry on and a best friend who I knew would accept the flawed me.

Each step I took closer to her I felt the two me colliding. My mind was racing and my emotions were at the highest I ever felt them. The tears were falling fast and followed by a sniffle or a sob. "Julia..." I said looking up at her. She came and just hugged me. "I need to tell you something." I said that in between broken sobs. "I'm tired." I could tell Julia was in shock. I was in a way too. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. "I'm can't keep it up. This act, I need to end it." My crying started to slow. This was as worse as it was going to get and she was still here.

"Let it end then," Julia said. My shock grew bigger at her words. Part of me was relieved. She had accepted me. The flawed girl who's name was Alice. A silence erupted between us. Not the bad silence though. The silence filled with understanding. The wind swept past us both marking a new beginning for me. Not the girl with a mask on. I wasn't the sell out anymore.

Everything was better now but deep down inside I knew it wasn't going to always get better. Deep down inside I knew ... someone like me didn't deserve this.

One Night's Dream

A while back I had this dream. It was weird so I decided to write it down and finally decided upon posting it. Warning ... it might be slightly melodramatic XD.

It was the usual second story classroom I was in. Big open windows on the left wall allowed the setting sun's rays come in and bathe the room with their golden orange colors. Six rows and desks with six desks in each row faced the chalkboard and teachers desk in front of the room. To the right side of the room was the door that many students entered and left from each day. I sat in the desk third row, fourth desk. For some odd reason this scene brought in a very uninvited nostalgia.

I felt my hand shake and the pit in my stomach grew worse. Rage seeped through my veins like gasoline running through pipes made of fire. Nothing seemed right anymore. How could someone who claimed to be my friend and who I considered the best of them do this. It use to be so different and the thoughts in my head use to be admiration but now were doubt. How swiftly and how carefully planned you shattered my opinion of you. The door to the room open and I see your body emerge from the hallways embrace.

The golden orange lights seeped over your body. I stood up from the desk fire running through my body. It all seemed to enter my tongue and eyes and I looked up at you. "I hate you." I yelled my words filled with wrath intended to pierce you like a sharp weapon. When I yelled at you my voice sounded oddly different it didn't belong to me but somebody else. I couldn't bear to be in the same room with you so I started to walk about. I muttered final words as I was several feet away from you. Your eyes opened in shocked and I knew they had stabbed you viciously. My heart sent a shot of adrenaline through me during that small and brief victory.

Two steps away from you I was about to turn and brush past you but your strong hands grabbed my shoulders. With a strong force you pushed me back. I hit the foot of wall in-between two windows. I looked up filled with loathing. Our eyes met but something was wrong. Your eyes were filled with something more than hurt. They were layer on with submission. The emotions that circled through them sent chills throughout my body. It was obvious you didn't want to be left.

Despite that I stood up and started to walk forward. You grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back into the wall. I felt like your eyes were eating me. I got up again my rage growing. I was pushed back again. I don't know how many times I hit the wall that evening. We were locked into a battle of emotion and of will. Of course I could have just walked the other way but our eyes were locked and silently we were waging a battle.

Thud! I hit the wall again. Your eyes slowly destroyed the barrier that my anger put up. Tears started falling down my face as I slid down the wall and sat on the ground. "How could you?" My voice cracked because I was nearly sobbing. You just continued to look down at me. I looked down when you started moving towards me. You sat down next to me. We sat there until the next day. No words were spoken but then of course those weren't needed.

The Execution

I was just randomly writing and I ended up writing this about a pious man during Medieval Times.

In the letter you never wrote to me, you said many things. Some good and some bad. The letter you wrote to me was one that poured out your heart to me not only by the words but by the tear stained paper it was written on. In the letter you never wrote you told me I was your best friend and that my last ten years of my life were not wasted in vain. It reassured me that you did care about me and now in my time before death it consoled me and finally allowed me to accept the cruel punishment that was bestowed upon me.
Too bad the letter was only a figment of my imagination. Some worthless thought to think about before the unsteady wooden platform beneath me is removed and my last breathe will be brought in right before the rope tightens. The things I remember now sends swift churns through my stomach as nostalgia grips my nerve racked body. We were so naive as boys. You were always the smart and strong one. You knew how to make everyone laugh and your tongue was like silver. The perfect boy to some but I could see more. I saw the boy that could become ten times better.
Unlike you I wasn't strong or I wasn't fast. My intelligent was above average but no where near yours. I was an average looking boy while you looked like a handsome god taken out of myth. But I had something you didn't. I was gifted with what you could never achieve. The abilities I had could not be learned because they are given. Like a malediction muttered upon the unlucky princess in the fairy tales.
The benefaction God had given me allowed me to understand emotions. See what people hide deep down. Those little hidden wants and desires. I knew how to manipulate them and have people act and do what I wanted. When people had pain I could take it away. If they wanted to be happy I could tell them the things they wanted to hear. I knew praises that gave them smiles and self worth.
My mind emerged from the images of the past and I looked forward at all those cold starving people looking at me. I was the example of what happened to people who thought differently. Who broke the bounds of this dying society. I stared at the people right before they dropped the board and yelled out one sentence. And the crowds face changed. I fell down and the rope gripped my neck. I died knowing at least I gave them courage.

The Monster

This is something I wrote when I did something I really shouldn't have. I don't know what it is but I am thinking it is leaning more towards poetry.

How easy it is for the boy to cross the line. For you see his eyes are clouded and his emotions are uneven. He's a cross between unrequited and unheard. His anger runs rampant and his words are tinted with coldeness that he doesn't notice.

The words that she speaks repeat in his head like a mantra and he starts to see the monster he unleashes. It's great big eyes staring at the prey. It's claws out ready to dig into the body of flesh and it's black furred feline figure waiting to push someone onto the edge of reason.

So as the anger subsides the boy feel remorse and looks upon himself with sad eyes. His voice comes out trying to make soft spoken words but they come out all wrong. The boy understands why you want to run. He silently waits though hoping you will understand and stay.

You see the monster comes out prying. It's tied to being worried, to being hurt, to feeling ashamed, to feeling bad, and to caring. It's born to protect but ends up destroying what the boy so dearly treasures.

The boy now lies on the floor. Hoping he could be understood. He lost his careful composure and now he is paying for it. Slowly caging the beast so it won't run unbridled again.

But who knows how well the cage will hold? The boy is working his hardest leaning his body against the door as the monster slams against it with it's muscular body and it's piercing yellow eyes staring so intently at the boy. The boy can smell the putrid breathe of the monster and feels like giving up. But he fights with all his strength against the cage door. He's wishing and praying that the beast stays caged.

Yet neither knows how long the cage will hold. Just remember the boy is going to be trying now and forever more. He will fight against this monster like he did the others and show that he is stronger. For that's all he can do besides saying sorry.