Bathroom Introspection

This was an interior monologue I wrote one day during class. I tried to capture my thoughts that happened when going to the bathroom. ^_^

Going to the restroom. Christ I need to go pee bad. I am walking to the restroom. I hope no one is in there because it's awkward when there is. Big girls don't cry dun dun duhhhhh. That song was never really too catchy. In the restroom now. Oh laws of physics someone is at the urinals. I'll use a stall then. Lock the door... it won't lock. UGH WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!! Shouldn't they have fixed this stall by now? Maybe I should tell a teacher or something. They hold the power at this school ... I think. Well the principal-nator has the supreme power. Okay screw thh lock if someone walks in, I'll just walk out. I'm safe at school... safe. Restrooms still freak me out. Ever since those park sex scandals in the restrooms. Also those Republican dudes sex scandels. Man Lincoln must be turning in his grave when he looks at the Republican party.

Wow there is no toliet paper in the dispenser. What if I had to take a crap ... I'd be screwed. Time to go pee. Unzip the zipper and aim. Oh crap hitting the seat!!!! Adjust. Ok good. I wonder if Jesus peed. Wow think of deities peeing. How weird ... Buddha. Did he pee in a toliet ? India is a cool place. I want to visit the big Buddha statue there before I die and see the Jains. To sweep the floor so you won't step on bugs... those nonviolence practices own Ghandi's. I wonder if Ghandi like peeing sitting up or down. I prefer standing it's faster. Care bears pee rainbows!!!! Well I don't know that for sure but it's possible. Ok done peeing. Zip up zipper and time to wash hands.

Wow the water faucet is stuck .. the water is flowing. Soap up hands and rinse. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q ... do you have to sing the whole alphabet to really wash your hands. Maybe Trish lied. I wonder it we are going to the hospital. Didn't Joyce say sing "Happy Birthday" twice? Eh scrw this. Dry the hands. Paper towels are so rough. Ah!!! there is a mirror. My hair is curly.. why thought? Maybe it has to do with atom structure. I want to go to Berkeley. Can I get in though? Hmmm What was that songs name? I'm walking up the stairs... oh freak I almost fell. Woah I could have died. What if I did? Who would get my stuff? "Hey Aaron!!!" Oh wow Jenny just said that. Open door to class. I'm walking in.