Korean Soap Opera Inspired High School Story

As the title suggests I wrote this after watching a Korean Soap Opera ... so if it sound a little melodramatic or over the top blame the soap opera. I just wanted to see if I could write inside the mind of one of those really messed up character you would find in any Soap Opera. I think the main character might just be a politician's daughter.

I turned the knob of the shower very slowly and took in the last couple of drops that hit me. My breathe was slow and I opened the door to the shower and shivered as the cold wisps of air started to hit me. I quickly got a towel and started to dry my body. The only part of me that wasn't wet was my hair which was tied into a tight bun. It took me years to learn not how to get my hair wet and I finally perfected my technique.

I wrapped the damp towel around me and stared into the steamed up mirror. The face staring back at me was not the face everyone saw. My eyes were full of sadness and my mouth in a straight line. I hated doing this but I had to. My father and mother couldn't accept a sad me. Oh no they needed their daughter to be perfect. I looked away from the mirror since part of me was ready to smash it with my bare fist.

I walked to the bathroom door and made my way to my room. No one was at my house it was just me. My room was more sickening to look at than my face was. Everything so perfect.

Anytime anyone came in I knew what thoughts raced through their head because they said it out loud. "Wow Alice your room is so nice and neat. I wish my room could be that way." The bright colored bed spread, my desk, chair, and even my dresser reeked with the perfect girl I pretended to be.

On my bed where the clothes I picked out to wear. The name brands which made them overly priced where obvious on them. I dropped my towel and quickly dressed myself. After that I walked towards my dresser and looked at myself in that mirror. I took deep breathes. Glancing at my almost straight A report card just made everything twice as worse. I could already hear my mom and dad in my head. "Alice how could you get a B - in Math. Next time do better." They were never satisfied ... never. That was the part that hurt me the most.

I looked back into the mirror and picked up the various makeup I usually applied. I knew I didn't need it. I was one of those lucky girls that won the genetic lottery. My outside appearance was beautiful. In a way my makeup flawed in. The flaw in it was what I liked. Although no one else noticed except him. I won't forget how he just glanced at me that one time and told me I shouldn't wear it. He wasn't the usual him I knew either. Maybe because we were alone. Despite that I still liked him.

After I was done with my makeup I let my black hair down and watched it fall into perfect place. The person in the mirror was the one I liked. The one I craved to be but sadly she wasn't me. I was going to put on the mask of her though. Become her. I stopped as a pang went through my body.

I grabbed onto the side of my dresser and fought wildly with myself to fight the oncoming set of tears. I don't know why they choose to come now. I couldn't cry now though ... I had to go and meet my friends at the mall. I grabbed tighter onto the dresser but the tears wouldn't give up. Something deep inside me was coming. It was the monster that was born from my deep hating of myself. The me that knew I was a failure, worthless, idiot, and worst of all a fake.

I let go of my dresser and fell back leaning my back against my bed and started to cry. I didn't make a sound, because that would give the true me satisfaction. The hot tears ran down my face and I knew they were going to ruin my makeup. Each tear that fell made my makeup look worse. The hating of myself was also growing with the coming tears. I fell onto my knees and reached towards the dresser drawer that contained my cellphone.

Opening up the drawer I reached in and removed my cell phone. The true me was screaming out wanting to show the world herself. My mask was fighting against it. My internal struggles were shown through my external struggle. I kept the fight with my tears up but they were getting stronger and stronger. I never felt pangs this strong but the pangs in general weren't out of the ordinary.

I had this mask on ever since I was in sixth grade and I could keep it on well. It disturbed me after 5 years of keeping this mask on it was falling apart now. I finally let out a sob and gave into the temptation of taking off the mask. Something deep inside me told me it was the right thing to do. I had the urgent need to tell someone ... to reveal the true side of me.

Going through the names in my cell phone list I landed on the girl who saw the most real me. My best friend. I stared at the letters that made her name. J-U-L-I-A I spelled her name over and over in my head. It had a comforting feeling. I pressed the call button on my cellphone and put it to my ear while still crying.

The phone rang once but no answer. Please answer Julia. Twice. "Hello," Julia said.

"Julia I need to talk to someone." I said while fighting back the sobs. Despite my attempt it was obvious i was crying.

"Are you okay?"

"I need to talk in person." My voice was a little stronger this time. "Can you meet me somewhere?"

"Yeah sure where at?" She sounded worried and in all honest truth that seemed to soothe me a little. She cared even though I was crying ... maybe she would like the real me.

"How about the playground at the elementary school?"

"Ok I will see you there and Alice?"

"Yeah."

"Don't do anything stupid."

We said goodbye and I got up still crying.

It was a weird feeling. All my emotions were turning and twisting. I ran over to the bathroom sink and washed off all my makeup and made my way down to the first story of my house. Opening up the door I started running towards the school. It was nearby my house so I would be there in about 5 minutes. My tears were stopping little by little and I felt my mask go on.

When I got to the school though I saw Julia waiting at the corner looking worried. The look she gave me. The concern and the care of that look tore off my mask and I started crying again. This time it would be different though. It wasn't a bad cry, I didn't have to fight it. I had a shoulder to cry on and a best friend who I knew would accept the flawed me.

Each step I took closer to her I felt the two me colliding. My mind was racing and my emotions were at the highest I ever felt them. The tears were falling fast and followed by a sniffle or a sob. "Julia..." I said looking up at her. She came and just hugged me. "I need to tell you something." I said that in between broken sobs. "I'm tired." I could tell Julia was in shock. I was in a way too. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. "I'm can't keep it up. This act, I need to end it." My crying started to slow. This was as worse as it was going to get and she was still here.

"Let it end then," Julia said. My shock grew bigger at her words. Part of me was relieved. She had accepted me. The flawed girl who's name was Alice. A silence erupted between us. Not the bad silence though. The silence filled with understanding. The wind swept past us both marking a new beginning for me. Not the girl with a mask on. I wasn't the sell out anymore.

Everything was better now but deep down inside I knew it wasn't going to always get better. Deep down inside I knew ... someone like me didn't deserve this.